Well, my little blog is just over a month old, and in looking over my past posts, I see I have not been doing my self-appointed job of watching out for the public’s interest (this may come as a surprise to some of you, since this is the first time I’ve mentioned this higher purpose, but trust me, it’s been there all along. Really. Would I lie?).
Thus, in the interest of public safety, it behooves me to issue the following public warning to all my fellow Blogomites:
Beware Blog Comments! They Are The New Crack!
You’ve seen the bloggers out there, I know you have, hunched over their computers like Quasimodo over his carvings (yes, the Disney Quasi). Their glazed eyes are bloodshot as they hit REFRESH over and over again in hopes that someone, somewhere, will give them a fix. They want their junk, no, they need their junk. It’s like crack, but worse, because at least crack makes you go out to get it. At least I think it does. No one’s invented a Crack Home Delivery business yet, have they? Crack Hut? Hey…maybe…
No. No! Bad David! No entrepreneurial ideas involving illegal substances. Prison is not the life for me.
Where was I?
Oh. Right. Blogger comments. Insanely addictive. Almost as bad as feedback in Share Your Work (that’s an Absolute Write Forum, in case anyone reading this doesn’t know). Blog Comment Addiction, or BCA, is rapidly becoming the number one cause of not only blindness and finger cramps, but also Nerditosis, Geekaphelia, and any other number of unsightly conditions which prohibit mankind's ability to reproduce by keeping the victims in front of the computer all day and preventing their physical interraction with others of the species.
I actually drew a single panel cartoon (which I would show here if I knew how...see the "not a techie" comments in earlier posts), with a guy on a street corner sitting at a laptop. His dirty clothes loosely cover his emaciated frame. His face is smudged, he has dark circles under his eyes, and he has about a four day growth of beard. In his hands is a cardboard sign that reads “Will Work For Blog Comments.”
That pretty much says it all, methinks.
10 comments:
David, you had me in stitches with that!
I was going to say you crack me up but decided against it. That was me you described! Have you Yanks got a spy sattelite orbitting New Zealand!
Dawn,
Well, I can't speak for the rest of us "yanks," but my personal satellite is aimed right at you. Don't worry, though. I won't tell anyone what you're wearing, although it is aaaaaawful cute ;)
Shit! I know. The new crack! Help! I'm addicted! It also leads to the overuse of exclamation marks!!!!!!
I swear, I'm going back to booze and chocolate tomorrow.
I just keep picturing my dad joking 'Stay away from that cinnamon-flavored crack - it'll rot your teeth!'
*snort*
BCA. I've got it. Is there a support group? Can we swap supportive comments? Please?
You are so write. Comments are crack. I just can't get enough. I check like 100 times a day!
I'm laughing out loud now...you're hilarious. And yes, comments are such an addiction...if crack is THIS good I'm asking myself why I haven't tried it yet?! ;)
LMAO!!!! Your description of your cartoon made me laugh so hard I startled the cats out of their cat suits. ;-D
Hi. My name is Katie and I'm a BC addict
wow. this is the first time I've admitted it. Is that the first step to change the habit? 'cause I don't really want to.
I'm so addicted to comments I've signed up with a site called "Co-comment" that tracks them so I can see if there's something I want to remember to go back and read. Being a member there is a sign of serious addiction - there should be a 12 step program...
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